Monday, April 16, 2012

Creative job application

I am sure that  many of you got tired at some point when sending boring job applications and decided to write it in your own way. And have fun at the same time.
I was applying for a position at one of the advertising agencies in Helsinki(Finland).
I got a reply, let's see where it ends up, but here is the application letter:


Your company attracted my attention four month ago when I was passing your office in a police car after they'd apprehended me for brawl with eight hockey fans. I was really bad that day. Fortunately there are good hospitals in Finnish prisons so I am back to my normal life and can move almost all of my fingers. Those four amazing months far away from alcohol changed my life. My hands do not shake anymore so I can type this email more or less freely but these handcuffs disturbe me. To tell you the truth I was a bit surprised that they let prisoners use e-mail. So luckily I don't have to wait for my release and can contact you now.

My cellmates would describe me as a very punctual person (at 5.30 am I always do my morning's 30 clap-pushups and I am never late with it). I am sure they would not miss the fact that I am one of the few in the whole prison who uses a toothbrush every day. Our prison librarian has no fear that I will use books for making cigarettes. Because I smoke a pipe. Probably people would tell you more about me if I was not isolated in the prison's "cooler" that often.

I am looking for something new in my life when I get out from here. I wann to get a job far away from shop cahiers and warehouse shelves, so I will have no temptation to steal anything. Looks like 358  is the best place for me.
I have some experience in photography (I took pictures of all newcomers in our prison) and in Photoshop (it helped me when I was making a fake ID card for my friend, so police would leave him alone in his new house in Monaco). If there is something illegal I can do for you--drop me a line!

Looks like my guard is waking up, so I have run back to my cell.
Hope to hear from you soon. Please send some ciggies with your reply, so I can trade them for a kitten (really love animals).

Convict # 0404743831

You are welcome to share your own experiences!